Arn Tseytlin

vegn zayn shafn

un vegn zikh

Fragmentn fun Avrom Tabatshniks

«Fun a shmues mit Arn Tseytlin»

(«Di goldene keyt», Numer 65, 1969). 1)

kval: The Mendele Review (24 July 1997)

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Ikh veys nit genoy, vos dos iz der taytsh: a religyezer poet. Poezye, oyb, un oyf vifl zi fardint den nomen, iz loyt mayn meynung memeyle religyez, oyb me farshteyt nit religye in an eng-ritueln zinen. Zi iz religyez afile denstmol, ven zi iz blasfemish. Sheli [Shelley] hot zikh gehaltn far an ateyist, ober zayn poezye hot tsu ton, oft farshtelterheyt, mit getlekhe inyonim, vos geyen im shtark on vi a mentsh. Oyf vifl es geyt vegn mayn veynikayt, volt ikh – bazunders fun der tsayt, vos religye iz bay undz gevorn an inyen fun politik un partey – geret nit vegn religye, nor vegn emune, gloybn, un derbay volt ikh definirt «gloybn» vi epes, vos muz farshtanen vern nit statish, nor dinamish un dialektish, dehayne, nit vi a fargliverte fartikayt, nor vi an umoyfherlekher protses. Dostoyevskis a held zogt ergets: «Mikh hot a gants lebn gepaynikt der inyen Got.» Ot dos ruf ikh an emunedikayt. An emunediker mentsh iz koydem-kol aza eyner, vos a gants lebn geyt im on der Got-inyen.

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Az mir haltn baym inyen fun emune un emunediker poezye, volt ikh gevolt makhn nokh a por bamerkungen. Me ret vegn Got-zukhers un Got-gefiners. Ikh volt geret vegn dem, az emune iz a kseyderdik, nokhanandik, kimat glaykhtsaytik Got-gefinen un Got-farlirn. Ikh veys nit tsi dos iz klor. Ikh volt gebrakht a zog fun Reb Nakhmen Bratslaver vegn dem inyen fun Gots noentkayt un vaytkayt tsu glaykh. Reb Nakhmen zogt: «Vos nenter m'iz tsu Got, alts vayter iz men fun im.» Un er git a moshl: «A mentsh heybt on kletern oyf a barg. Lomir zikh forshteln az der barg iz umeglekh hoykh. Iz vos mer, vos hekher er kletert, alts vayter zet im oys der barg. Vos mer opgegangener veg, alts boyleter vert dem bargs umendlekhe hoykh. Dernentern zikh tsu Got heyst deriber: hobn dos gefil say fun noentkayt un say fun umendlekher vaytkayt.» Dos iz di dialektik fun emune: got-gefinen un got-farlirn in eyn un der zelbiker tsayt, kimat tokh-kedey diber un derfun oykh di iyush-tsayt fun emune. Yiesh un emune zenen tsvey zaytn fun eyn zakh. Az du vest mir zogn vi tif fartsveyflt du bist, vel ikh dir zogn vi vayt gleybik du bist.

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Ikh gloyb, az on ruekh-hakoydesh iz keyn shum zakh nito, keyn poetishe shafung avade nit. Farshteyt zikh, az men ken oystrakhtn lider. Oyb ober a lid zol beemes zayn a lid, muz es zayn der poyel-yoytse fun inspiratsie.

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Ikh ken redn nor fun mayn eygenem nisoyen. Ikh veys nit vi s'iz bay andere poetn vos shraybn oyf tsvey shprakhn. Bay mir is nito ot di shpaltung oder tsebreklung. Ikh veys nit genoy farvos dos iz azoy, ober der doziker «Vov hakhiber» fun di tsvey leshoynes, yener vov-mekhaber vos ikh hob ongerufn der loshn-koydesh fun der yidisher neshome firt dertsu, az ikh zol in prat fun shprakh nit filn keyn shpaltung. Keyn ineveynikste tserisnkayt. Vi gezogt, az ikh shrayb yidish, fil ikh gor nit az ikh shrayb yidish; az ikh shrayb hebreish, fil ikh gor nit az ikh shrayb hebreish. Dos heyst, mit andere verter, az oyb s'iz a tsveyikayt, is es a tsvey, vos iz – oder vert eyns. Ot dos take iz vos ikh hob frier gezogt: Der inyen funem alef, der oybn un der untn, dos rekhte un dos linke, tate un mame, oyb men zol zogn, az hebreish is tate-shprakh un yidish iz mame-shprakh. Dos vert farbundn durkh dem «vov», vos dos meynt oykh neshome, es heyst: S'iz eyn gantskayt, eyn geshtalt, s'iz eyn alef. Dos iz a reyn pnimesdiker protses. Di tsvey-shprakhike loshn-koydeshdikayt in mayne lider iz durkhoys a subyektive aynshtelung. Un ikh vil gor bazunders batonen, az men ken fun dem gornit dringn in a gezelshaftlekhn oder natsionaln zinen. S'iz, khazer ikh iber, an individueler psikhisher fakt, a yekhidisher. Ikh volt afile gezogt, a privater aynshtel. Ober ot der psikhisher aynshtel, hot, gleyb ikh, gornit tsu ton mit mayn shraybn bikhlal, nor spetsiel mit mayn shraybn lider.

Ikh vil zikh agev, do farentfern far nutsn in dem itstikn shmues azelkhe verter vi shafn, vos dos hot a konotatsye fun gayvedikayt. Mayn nutsn do verter vi shafn, poet ukhedoyme, ongevent oyf zikh aleyn, darf farshtanen vern poshet vi tekhnishe terminen, vos mit zeyer hilf bin ikh oysn nit mer vi optsugrenetsn mayn shraybn lider fun mayn shraybn bikhlal. Ven ikh trakht vegn dem fun vanen es kumt tsu mir mayn tsveyshprakhike loshn-koydeshkayt – vi ikh hob es ongerufn – dakht zikh mir tsaytnvayz, az dos nemt zikh derfun, vos atavistish tsi ikh mayn yenike fun der khabad-velt.. Ikh shtam dokh fun doyres khabadnikes. Mayner an elter-zeyde, Reb Yoysef der alter khazn, iz geven fun di ershte khsidim fun dem bal-ha«Tanye», zayn khazn un a mutiger farshpreyter fun zayn shite in khsides. Khabadnikes hobn genug a gor origineln sort yidish. S'iz geven a min hebreyidish oder yidehebreish. Es ken deriber zen, trakht ikh tsu mol, az dos loshn-koydesh-yidish iz tsu mir ongekumen durkh atavistishe kanaln. Meglekh az khabad hot oykh andersh mashpeye geven.

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In di «Khalyastre»-tsaytn (in Poyln) bin ikh geven a «fremde flants». ²⁾ Dr. Schiper ³⁾ hot mikh a mol ongerufn: a hebreisher poet oyf yidish. Akhuts dem bin ikh gevaksn in a shtub, vu literatn zenen geven ofte gest, un hob tsu fri derkent di mumim fun shraybers un shrayberay. Vi a forzitser fun Pen-Klub bin ikh geshtanen in kikh, vu men greyt tsu di «kultur». Bay dem alemen bin ikh geven – aleynik. Kh'bin nit gevaksn bekhevrusedik, hob keyn mol nit mitgezungen in khor. Ikh volt oykh nit gekent mitzingen in khor fun «religiyeze» dikhters. Ikh anerken nit keyn khorn. Ikh bin oft gegangen kegn shtrom. Ven Markish hot gezungen vegn di glikn fun der revolutsye, dehayne, az «Ivanushka Durak vet gor di velt farnemen», vi er zogt ergets in a lid, ukhedoyme azelkhe zakhn, hob ikh geshribn mayn eygene shturemtsayt-poeme – yidish-kabolesdik: «Matatron». Ikh bin nit-komformist, nor az es vert a mode oyf non-konformizm iz men nit betsiber.

Formel bin ikh fun a literarisher mishpokhe. Der foter a shrayber, der yingerer bruder a shrayber. Ober ikh halt nit funem bagrif literarishe mishpokhe in zinen fun betsiberdikayt, fun kolektiver shafung fun a dor. Dos kolektive, oykh dos historishe, dos natsionale – dos alts darf zayn inem yokhed aleyn. Andersh gezogt: Di tsayt, dos folk, di doyres zenen, darfn zayn, in dem eyntslnem shafer oyf vifl er iz beemes a shafer. Oykh natsionale un kolektive motivn in der poezye zenen yekhidishe motivn. Oyb der natsionaler oder kolektiver moment iz in der zelber tsayt nit-subyektiv, iz es deklamatsye. Talant iz individualitet, oyb nit – iz der gantser inyen talant a mekekh-toes. Eliot, der barimter englisher poet un eseyist, halt nit, az talant iz perzenlekhkayt. ⁴⁾ Er kon zikh bageyn on dem. Dos iz eyne fun di sibes, farvos ikh kon zikh zeyer gut bageyn on di Eliots.

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Ikh hob a vidergefil tsu dem vos m'ken andersh nit rufn vi literatur-mark. Oyf a mark handlt men zikh ayn abisl koved, me dingt zikh eyner mitn tsveytn, a rendl aroyf, a rendl arop. Ikh vel zogn oyf dir, az bist a godl, vestu zogn oyf mir, az ikh bin a godl. Ver darf dos? Iz es nit kremeray? Ikh halt fun shraybers, vos zenen mir noent.

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1) kval: Arn Tseytlin, «Literarishe un filosofishe eseyen», 1980, pp. 382-385 

2) «Khalyastre» ('The Gang') refers both to the periodical of that name (Warsaw 1922; Paris 1924) and some of the writers grouped around it (Perets Markish, Meylekh Ravitsh, Y.-Y. Zinger, Oyzer Varshavski). 

3) Yitskhok [Ignacy] Schiper (or Schipper) (1884-1943). Historian, communal activist, author of important studies in Yiddish on Yiddish theater, on Jewish economic life and on other subjects. 

4) This is apparently a reference to T. S. Eliot's famous essay «Tradition and the Individual Talent» (1917)